Why are So Many Men UNHAPPY?

Intro

why are so many men unhappy randon good to see you man good to seeyou too it’s always good to see you i know it’s like It’s like the highlight of my week just to get together with youfor a couple hours to do some podcasting oh man and it’s hard it’s hard to you know get some time with you but when Ido it just makes my day it’s the best i’ve had this thing likeit’s it’s funny Brandon because I’ve kind of had it called out in my life a little bit lately where you know I getalong well with pretty much anyone that I bump into like I kind of just can get along with everybody um but I’ve alwaysfelt like I play this role where I connect other people and they make best friends but then I never really havelike real too many really deep connections and it’s started to dawn on me that that’s a me issue more than itis other people’s issue because I I I work with people for a living and then as soon as I’m done working I just wantto go home and like not talk to anybody oh my gosh yeah like II Yeah uh I would go to like places like church or wherever and just avoid getting to know people better becauseall week long it was like deep heavy hard difficult stuff um so I feel you itotally know what you’re talking about but no you got some good relationships though oh I I I love my relationships igot some really good Yeah and and it’s pretty cool like with our with the community that we’re building likethere’s a lot more of that like lately in the last couple of years just the community that we’re building outside of my practice that’s been a real kind ofawesome thing to just kind of be a peripheral part of too and feel those connections as well i’m just laughingcuz Rex called me and he said he was going up to your house and he’s like and I was like oh that sounds funny he’slike what are you jealous like I was like what no I just said that sounds fun well what can’t us two hang out withhe’s joking hey hey I hardly ever get together with Rex that’s what I told him yeah I spentthe weekend with him this this weekend it it was great you know I didn’t even really say a whole lot but we just spentthe weekend together and it was awesome so yeah he’s the man so um but but youknow I I I’m the favorite brother I guess well you are i’ve always been jealous of yours and Rex’s and Rex hasprobably been jealous of yours and mine and you’re the favorite in between well I am in between so like that’s that’swhere I’ve always been in the family so um All right should we dive into thisTyler yeah this will be this will be an interesting topic it might it might kind of ruffle some feathers today but that’sokay we’re going to talk about some things that you know it’s some theories and things that some people come up withthat might actually have some truth to them you know Tyler when some things just kind of come together and it seemslike God is just trying to give you a message or something um it’s it wasinteresting last week that happened to me so um we’ve been working hard onpreparing for rising sun getting rising sun like just just going and and dialingthat in um and last week I was listening to the radio it’s just KSL just normalradio station and it was like 20 to 30 minutes of this guy getting interviewedwho has done a bunch of research about the life satisfaction of men and and howmen are doing um what are you doing listening to normal radio in the first place what do you mean like who i don’tI didn’t know that was still there i didn’t know anyone still listen to radio oh I always do i always But you foundsomehow you found a gold nugget there yeah yeah and and this researcher wasgoing on and on about basically like it the the like breakdown ofmasculinity is real in in our society and he said onethird of men aredepressed um and unsatisfied and feel very little purpose in their life um he he said thatthere’s an increase in men who are not participating in the workforce like alot of men don’t even have jobs or participate um there’s an increase in inthings like mental illness depression and those type of things amongst men umand so all the things he was saying it wasn’t shocking me because we see thisday in and day out you kind of feel that in a lot of the men we work with they’re almost like they’re like kind ofhollowed out a little bit yeah yeah and and I even think of a lot of people inmy personal life and friends and and things like that and yeah everybody has their challenges but a lot of the men inmy life um there’s there’s something lacking for them um they’re notsatisfied they don’t feel um that purpose in their life um and so that’swhat I want to talk about today i think this is a theory that we’re going to talk about today but I think there’ssome real merit to it and something to explore um and so the so so part of whathappened too is is that you heard this on the radio listening to the radio which nobody does right and then likelike right after that another man that we know together sent a video the next day yeah the next day about about asimilar topic with this theory that we’re going to talk about today so this is how it goes um it’s the thetheory is something like this is that as men we have different archetypes there’s different there’s different likeessences about who we are as men and um some of the things have been deemed asreally bad dangerous and not okay and so over time with society things have justbroken down um and and those things are not only not really prevalentum they are looked down upon and as long as a man doesn’t have thesethings in his life then he will be unhappy so one of the archetypes thatthey talk about is the warrior archetype and how the warrior archetype has beenum basically taken out in many ways and so like it could you talk about thewarrior archetype Tyler do you know what that is yeah so so well the warrior archetype is basically that you knowpart of part of the identity of the masculine energy is that you’re builtfor battle and usually that battle needs to include something a bigger purpose than yourself and that that makes youdangerous that that makes you um need to need to actually be able to be dangerousin order to be protective of things otherwise you can’t really protect anything and um so that’s so that’s kindof what what we’re getting at is is that at the heart of the masculine energyit’s actually built in now now part of what I think you’re saying Brandon and what this guy is saying is that you lookat like the way societyy’s unfolding right now and for a really long timefor good reason the energy of being dangerous has also caused a lot ofproblems right um you got rape cultureyou got power differentials you have all of these kind of thingsthat get talked about and I think maybe what the researcher on the radio was starting to say is that maybe it’s gonea little bit too far and as men try to actually distance themselves from beingdangerous they’re actually in some ways self-rejecting some of the things thatthat are built into them and rather than trying to get rid of them they need to learn how to channel those energiesdifferently yeah so in what you’re saying is interesting because in a waywe could take that and bring it right back to um you know fighting againstthis part of masculinity right the reality is is a man who goes and causesharm to other people yeah that’s a problem obviously and and so this is thekind of the the tricky thing to do I think is one part of the warrior that’sthat’s important is aggression and andcertain people might not like some of the things we say here about masculinity because it’s uncomfortablebut you hang out with my two boys and they’re you know 10 and 14 and I’mtelling you what Tyler Aggression is part of it um messing with each otherfighting with each other you know seeing what they can get away with but aggression is a part of it and I I don’tthink that’s because I’m a bad father i think that’s in them it’s in them tylerwhen you and I were boys and you threw me against that wooden box and busted my teeth out or when Remember how much weused to wrestle in the front room yeah like we would get bored and we would just we would spend hours just wrestlingjust like and it was so fun it was I the only time I could dominate you I couldget you in the headlock right or those times out on thebasketball court when like the the competition just heated up the temperature just gets a little hotterand and it felt good yeah yeah like it felt good to like like box someone outkind of hard and and like fight for that victory um that felt good and and therethere’s nothing wrong with that um in fact it’s in us and and you you look atlike survival there’s a reason why a a certain level of aggression is importantfor men to have it’s a protective measure for their tribe for their familyum it it needs to be there right so butcoming back to what you were just saying is okay but what about all this other horrible stuff that happens as a resultof aggression i think that’s where you get that term toxic masculinity peoplepeople use the term toxic masculinity to make all of masculinity bad when inreality the toxic part is is basically the what you might call the god-givenaggression gone to a selfish self-serving or unhealthy place right and rather thanbeing channeled into a place where there is actual real purpose and need for it right so we’ve thrown the baby out withthe bathwater is because of that Tyler we then go to a place of you better justplay Mr nice Guy um and and be a good a good calm meek man right nowum here’s what happens when a man doesn’t have aggression now you I wantto reiterate something you just said Tyler channel it channel the aggression that’s the way ofthe warrior that’s why like when you look at like all these like movies where you know even Kung Fu Panda you know I

Channeling Aggression

knew you’d come to that one i love Kung Fu Panda but but it’s about channeling the energy for good for something biggerthan yourself rather than getting rid of it all together yes so so channeling itis really important when you channel it think about that Tyler when you channel aggressionyou figure out where you’re fighting your battle and you have some purposewhen you kill the aggression and don’t fight a battle you have depressionbecause you’re sitting here and and that depression speaking to you it’s sayingyou know God’s saying “Hey you’re here for a purpose you’re here for a purpose hello hello wake up.” Yeah yeah and andyou’re like “No I can’t it’s bad i won’t I but I’m depressed.” Well you need to find that energy inside

Fighting a Worthy Battle

of you that that like fierce powerful warrior energyinside of you and start to channel it towards something some kind of worthy battles to fight yeah and there’s plentyout there yeah right that are that are worthy and that need to be fought absolutely like weren’t you going to getin the ring Tyler in like the actual physical ringyeah i had this dream like I got I got into like I don’t know ifthis is a worthy battle it’s probably just a way to get my butt kicked but um I had this dream I started watching UFCand I got really enthralled with UFC and one of the reasons why I love that by the way Brandon on this topic is becausewhen you put two people inside of that cage there is really only one one person isgoing to emerge the winner and you have to put everything on the line it’s it’s true warrior heart right that’s what

Controlled Aggression

that’s what I love about it so it’s aggression at its finest it’s aggression but even the best fighters though arecontrolled with their aggression channeled aggression they channel their aggression properly and they’re trained to use it properly and then it then itworks out for them so yeah so I had a dream one time that I was going to go to like amateur night and just get into thering just for the sake of trying out UFC but I have no training so my whole goal is to just start the fight i hope nobodywhoever I fight eventually I hope they don’t hear this i’m just going to run across the ring and do a flying knee andthen then all bets are off just so I can say I did ityeah it’s interesting that you have that desire though oh I I Oh I rememberBrandon like this is this is like little boys like not even little boys but teenagers do you remember we were in thethe old beat up white van on 911 when 9/11 happened oh yeah oh yeah and wekind of had that day together in the next few days after that we drive around doing our lawn care stuff and while Iwould drive I would just daydream about being the dude who parachuted out of the plane and went and blew up Osama binLaden and like you know like I couldn’t wait to be that guy i almost enlisted i was that close oh I was close yeah yeahbecause something inside called like it’s on i I want to be that guy right i

Warrior Books for Kids

want to be that guy well I’ve been listening listening to Extreme Ownership and with Joo and Leaf and it’sinteresting because really what that book is all about is this chneledaggression like these guys are badasses like they they are heck yeah like talkabout warriors right yeah but they do it um where they’re channeled where wherethey can step into the fight calculated and ready to go and they’re trainedright so like we as men need to live that way more instead of getting rid ofthe aggression instead of looking at it as bad we need to take that energy andand put it towards something that is is important um okay you ready for the next one yeahI’ll just say one thing about that like with the whole Jaco Willing thing what’s interesting to me is that he’s an interesting dichotomy because he’s thisNavy Seal dude that is like famous and everybody like and he wrote these books one of his other passion projects that Ithink is another form of his aggression even though it comes out differently is he writes children’s books for his sonsi I’ve I’ve read them all to my kids i love them he he teaches the kid how to be a warrior yeah yeah it’s awesome youknow yeah so but talk about channeling it right right um to actually part ofhis purpose and mission is to help children right as well as like take outthe terrorists in Iraq both both so um okay the the next thing that uh was onwas on this video that w was sent to us um in order for a man to channel his

The Power of Solitude

warrior archetype um is to practice sacred solitudeso this is something that is really important for masculinityand really important for men so that they don’t like feel a lack of purposeso sacred solitude like when I say that Tyler what do you think of yeah what happens when you think of sacredsolitude and I I challenge anyone listening to this like how much sacred solitude do you experience in any givenweek i mean you probably go work out listen to something while you work out havenoise going on in your head podcast the therapy brothers whatever right way lessnow way less now in our world than there used to be we try hard to avoid thatwhat’s inside of our mind people pay big money now to go on silent retreatsbecause our world is so void of silence what happens what happens in the silencei think this is important to talk about Brandon because why are we all so afraid of that silence right rightwe have to make peace with our inner demons right and when you make pe think think of that solitude when you makepeace with your inner demons and you’re able to just sit and be you start to getanswers about what your purpose is and who you are your identity and your identity and and so if I’m constantlynumbing out I’m like on reals all day long or something or I just never stopto be alone i’m always surrounding myself around people like I need to stopsit in a hammock um like I’ll give you example this last week I went and sat inthe river uh for 20 minutes in the river i’m glad you didn’t have hypothermia idid a little bit but but like it was sacred solitude becauseit it brought me to that moment just being in that river um but like topractice that day in and day out is important for for men and for women bythe way yeah it’s a cultivating thing i I think it goes along too with some of some research that’s come mostly out ofthe University of Utah um called the 3-day effect we talked about it before but basically if you take someone andget rid of all of their technology and then put them in nature for 3 days the makeup of their brain waves and the

The 3-Day Effect

brain waves that they’re operating from primarily shifts there’s a different energy so to speakthat you begin to live from when you’re disconnected from all technology for three days they call it the three-dayeffect and and some of the byproduct of that three-day effect is that it decreases your anxiety and yourdepression so your mental health actually gets better when the three day effect starts to take effect yeahinteresting um so you think about it let’s you know we’re only getting through through halfof these so far but here we are as a society with men who are told that theycan’t be aggressive and are given every opportunity to avoid sacred solitudelike it’s at your fingertips it’s just so easy and so automatic to get um andso you just mix those two things together and you’re left with men

Counterfeit Masculinity

drinking Mountain Dew looking at porn and what was the other one playing video games playing video games yeah that’swhat you’re left with well those three things actually fit this archetype they’re just counterfeit versions of it well that’s a great point they’recounter Take video games it’s like they’re in a war they’re in a battle there’s strategy there’s all this stuffit’s just it’s just a bit counterfeit yeah um soand and it’s interesting you know it kind of proves our point why why do my why can’t I get my boys off the videogame thing but my girls could they my girls did their nails all day yesterdaymeanwhile you’re trying to get your son off the switch yeah my my son is like Link on Zelda all day long and you’retrying to keep yourself from going and playing with him and justifying that as father time well yeah or livingvicariously through the athletes on the sports team that I’m watching all day hey man man that’s meyeah um okay so should we move on to the nextone okay so the next one in order to cultivate your warrior archetype

Seek Real Risk

is to seek out risk um to live on the edge and to seek outrisk so like how do you what do you think of that Tyler i I think that’s where a lotof us actually lose heart sometimes because you know when we’re little boys we kind of like to go take the risk youknow we wanted to see like you said we want to maybe see what we could get away with that’s why we did like the the thefishing line and pop cans across the road to get cars to chase us after they stop to hear the noise or like we wewant to test ourselves a little bit and then over time sometimes we get obliterated in that risk and then wereceive messages that you know we don’t measure up or we don’t have what it takes or it’s too it’s going to hurt too bad and so then we start to slowly justmove oursel to the sideline and stop taking actual risks i I you weren’t hereuh family dinner a couple weeks ago but we were talking about who’s its horns i was here i was there talking about who’sits horns oh you were there you were there yes who’s its horns and just this dude this kid in our neighborhood thatlived in risk i mean he would do backflips on the [ __ ] just like over and over and over again or just liketear down the street as fast as he could on his rollerblades or whatever like he was he was alive he was just in it in itright um but like we are conditionedto try to work our way into comfortinto like security and comfort we think we’ve arrived when we get there the most

Growth Through Discomfort

secure men in in their in in being comfortable you’ll find a lot ofdepression there you’ll find a lot of addiction there um because they to liveout there on that edge a little bit take to take some of those to take some ofthose risks you know I we were talking about being with Rex all weekend the reason I was with Rex all weekend isbecause his son um his son had a baseball tournament andand I got to watch some little league baseball now I’m not typically a baseball fan i mean I know baseball and I don’t really like to watch it becauseI’ve always thought it is boring but I’m here I am watching this unfold and there was like layers to what I was seeingyou’re trottting out these kids to be totally in the spotlight both the pitcher and the guy at bat to haveone-on-one combat with each other where where one of them on every at bat isgoing to succeed and the other one is going to fail and then they’re surrounded by these grown men who arestepping in as like these support systems like almost like the the mentors into the masculinity all the while thegame is being played with the mind the strategy like everything else is goinginto it and I thought to myself like as much as I’ve never really liked baseball baseball has a lot of thesethings we’re talking about built into it you know and um you’re crazy for notliking baseball just just takes too long and oh my goshI walked watched a soccer game yesterday i was ready to shoot myself i watched two of them yesterday oh goodnessbaseball takes too long anyways anyway yeah so anyway like I’m sitting watching

Baseball and Masculinity

this happen i’m thinking like according to this like theory we’re talking about this is a beautiful expression of theseprinciples we’re talking about where you got to go put yourself out there and the thing is is that after you strike outthat one time guess how many at bats you have left that game you got to go get called back into the arena to do itagain two innings later to go put yourself out there and potentially fail again and it teaches you that like heyput yourself out there now what we know is that the people that grow the most they grow the most in situations wherethey have a 40 to 60% chance of losing or winning so if we’re putting ourselvesinto that 40 60% chance on a regular basis we exponentially increase ourpersonal growth on whatever the topic is and most of us shy away from that painwhen in reality we can learn to embrace that and see the risk as inevitableum as as necessary yeah we’re not talking about reckless abandonment we’renot talking about you know jumping off a cliff and hoping that you land in in onon the soft spot in the river or something like no you jump off that cliff with a parachute umyou you start a business with a plan you um you go after that girl with respectand um you know do you see what I’m saying Tyler that’s right um so so it’snot just about just being a wild man yeah it’s not about being reckless it’sabout being a calculated man but also willing to take that risk willing tostep into that discomfort in that discomfort in that place is where itit’s it’s fun and horrible it’s horrifying and fun and it’s all of thosethings right um but that’s living man that’s livingthat’s life that’s living um you’re you’re going for it now there’s not a problem with finding some areas of ofcomfort and security in your life sure we need the balance of both yeah i can sit on my hammock in my backyard and andmy feet can still touch the ground i don’t need to hang it 50 feet in the air just to be like I’m cool and I’m goodenough right like Right so so like there’s a balance to it but if you don’thave any edge that you’re living on or any risk that you’re taking you therefore are not living in that warriorarchetype and you’re going to feel a lack in your life you’re going to feel a disconnectso all right you ready for uh one more here this one’s a fun one i like it um so

Embrace Death

embrace the inevitability of deathwhat does that mean are you gonna die Tyler yeah we’re allgonna die you when are you going to die who knows sometime between now and thenext 40 years right there we unknowingly in many ways are we’re conditioned tonot face death um you know I even at 45 years old like I don’t I haven’t seenmany dead bodies um like what you know when someone dieswe we take their body we balm them we take them off to the morg right and wedon’t talk about death very often we actually kind of just ship off our old people and let the before they beforethey even die for years care homes take care of the dying yeah we they’re about to die so like put them over there youknow like um we don’t love the act thatlike like yeah we can joke and laugh like yeah we’re all going to die but to sit and face that reality is importantand here’s why when it comes to your masculinity think about the warrior on thebattlefield um if they know that they could die whatdoes that do if they know that they could dieit depends death is a death is an actual thing it’s like I’m thinking of uhyou’ve probably seen these have you you’ve watched the Band of Brothers series mhm um the the character Spearshe’s the one that like is on the edge like you don’t know if he’s even ethical he might have killed some people he shouldn’t have that kind of thing but hesays something inside there that they they’re talking about why why more thanhalf of the soldiers that came off of the boat on D-Day didn’t even deploy their weapon like didn’t even shoottheir weapon and why some people were able to do that his take on it inessence was I had to embrace the inevitability that I was going to die i was already a dead man and because I wasalready a dead man I was able to just step into whatever I had to in the moment and and be fully engaged in whatwas there yep that’s it did Did you watch that video Tyler the the Yeah Iwatched it did Christopher Watkins quote um or or was it Neo i can’t remember ifit was Ke Reeves um there was a cheesy Keano Reeves one I think for sure iremember hearing his voice because you can’t unhehere that voice i can’t remember the quote exactly butit was something like if you live as if you’re going to die you live right yeahit was the same thing of the Tim McGrath song right like soon as he knew he had cancer and was going to die all of asudden he started living yeah right yeah well guess what you could die todayyou could die you could die tonight in your sleep Tyler if you were going to die tonight in your sleep what would your day look like

Live Like You’re Dying

it would probably change significantly like what what’s one or two things you do different um well I probably wouldshrink down my day in terms of the appointments that I have left so that I could spend some more time with my wifeand my kids and and and I’d probably go spend a little bit more time um lettingthe people that I know that matter to me um how much I love them and then I’d spend the rest of my time trying toleave a mark on this world right and the and the question I’m not trying to put you on the spot here Tyler but are theresome people in your life that you haven’t let you know haven’t let know that you love them for a while thatyou’ve neglected 100% you could die tonight yep right do you see what I’msaying no yeah yeah no the trick to that is that there’s always a trick because we live lives where the likelihood andthe probability is that we won’t die and if I just quit my job right now so that I can go say goodbye and sing Kumbayawith everybody then that’s going to last for about a week before I get you know evicted from my house and then I got tostart working my job again well I I don’t know i mean in a in a way I remember when Uncle David got sick and Ithey literally gave him a week to live or whatever and I went over to his houseand there was a Raiders game on and he wasn’t a Raiders fan but he liked to watch football and he was like I justwant to watch football i just want to watch this game and I thoughtyou got like days hours to live you just want to lay here and watch this game andpart of it felt really good because he was just content he was just okay like this is my life i’m okay with life so

Be Intentional Today

part of knowing you’re gonna die you might you might have a normal day today Tylerbut you might also pay attention to a few other things like I’m really going to call my daughter and tell her I loveher today um or you know what that one like that one little hike that I wantedto do right around my house I’m I’m going to I’m going to bust that out today right i I think what you’re getting at is that it would lead to alittle bit more intentionality with how I allocate my time my resources my heart my energy there’d be more consciousnessand that consciousness would lead to intention and that intention would then fuel more meaning exactly yes oh herehere it is yes those who cling to death live thanks Carrie those who cling tolife die that’s that’s Kane from John Wick andthen Skyler says “Momennto mory.” Yeah yeah that’s it thank youum but that is so true you know it’s it’s it’s Pima Shojan Shron’s quote ifwe spend our whole life trying to prevent dying we never live right but ifwe embrace the groundlessness of our situation that’s called enlightenment that’s called awakening so the fact thatif you embrace that you’re going to die then you can actually live you can actually step into things right anotherway of looking at this Brandon is like with the mindfulness perspective that really the only place where lifeactually happens is right now in this moment like what just happened what we just talked about is already dead what

Life Happens Now

we’re going to talk about is only to come and right now all there really is is this moment right now anyway it’s theonly place where life actually happens right and that’s why cultivating everything else is dead um life lifeonly happens in this breath in this moment and and acknowledging that in aweird way it decreases depression and anxiety because depression we’re worried about what happened in the past resentments regrets everything else orwe’re overwhelmed by what’s going to happen in the future anxiety same thing when in reality all there is is rightnow your heart beating your lungs breathing your brain thinking that’s all there is is this moment right now thinkabout it Tyler if like what are my chances of being just unhappy depressedand without purpose if I I embrace thiswarrior archetype that I I channeled my aggression in ahealthy way i practiced sacred solitude every day i sought out calculated riskand lived in that risk and I lived as if I was going to dielike how would how would what would my life be like what’s funny about what you say Brandon is your your life would bewould be rich it would be full it would be vibrant and it would be extremelypainful yeah because I’d be living yeah cuz living requires pain i’d have lovei’d have failure but you’d embrace it oh man I would just I would feel it and youknow I’d be laying on my deathbed who knows when who knows when maybe rightnow but I’d be laying on my deathbed probably just being like “Dang like thatthat was a that was a wild ride that was a great ride that was a great ride.” I wouldn’t be laying on my deathbedthinking I should have would have could have like if only I would have like donethat thing or this thing right yeah I know what do they you talkto people who are actually literally on their deathbed dying of some kind of disease that slowly takes their lifeaway from them and you start to ask them questions about their lives and they have to navigate this stage of life thatis basically like you know what’s the meaning of my lifedid I do I just disappear into stagnation and doubt or do I continue to live a life of generativity generatingsomething else right and and when you ask those people the people in stagnation and doubt they’re caught upin all of their resentments they’re caught in all of their regrets they’re thinking about like they’re victims you know and you ask them like “What do youwish you would have done more of or less of in your life?” And what the what are the kinds of things that people saythey never say “Oh I wish I would have stayed on the sideline a little bit more.” Not not like taken some risksthey they never say that no never never yeah never because there’s somethingthat’s actually born into I wish I would have just played it safer and like found a video game I was really addicted toi wish I would have consumed anything not very many people say that oh if onlyI could have numbed out more man I wish I could have just been more disconnected taken less risk experienced a littleless love and yet and yet that’s how so many people are living their life well we’re taught to live that way because ofbecause of the pain that comes we’re taught that pain is bad and pain is only bad when we decide that it’s bad rightpain pain is pain is just a a part of life and part of growing and if we choose the right kind of pain weactually choose additional growth and we choose really to be alive right rightright tyler this has been a good discussion um if anything I hope it’s gotten people thinking a little bit umthey may disagree or agree with all the things we’re saying um I just hope itgets people thinking and uh maybe it’ll help you step into some things that you’ve been avoiding and getting out ofthat that comfortable place a little bit so that you can go live yeah thank youguys for being here with us we love seeing on this live chat that’s here for those who join us live we love seeing your comments keep keep them coming inthe future