4 Things To Do To Take Care Of Your Mental Health

Introduction – Brandon welcomes listeners and shares where Tyler is.

Four things to do to take care of your mental health.Welcome to the Therapy Brothers podcast. I'm Brandon. I'm Tyler. We're brothers.We're therapists. And we know recovery. Bring your stories, your questions, yoursuccesses with real recovery. [Music]Hey Tyler, you ready to have some hard conversations? Let's do it. Let the Therapy Brothers podcast begin. Allright, guys. Welcome. It is just me today, Brandon. UmTyler is off, I believe, on an elk hunt.And the hunt he's doing is like a tough one. So, he's been hiking a lot,climbing mount mountains, and um I don't know if he got an elk or not. Um, buthe's challenging himself. To be honest with you, I don't love hunting with Tyler. I do. I love being with him,spending time with him, and just bonding in the mount mountains, butuh, he likes to chase the animals down. Um, he's like a mountain goat. He justgoes, he he can just climb mountains like no other. And he has two fake hips

Reflections on the Retreat – Breakthroughs, brotherhood, and gratitude.

and he just keeps climbing. It's crazy. He's like the bionic man.Um, he's a tough dude, that guy. So, uh, I actually do love hunting withhim and it challenges me to push myself to to climb mountains and get up in innature. So, um, hopefully he was successful and had a good time. Anduh you know, we finished our retreat a little over a week ago anduh that was awesome and it was exhausting andjust so amazing. And I just want to I think this is one of the first episodes we've done since uh the retreat and Ijust want to give a shout out to all the guys that went. Uh way to bring it to the retreat. It was uh every year we sayit was incredible, but this one truly was incredible and with some majorbreakthroughs and I believe miracles that happened while we were there.And the the best thing that happened while we were there was the collective energy of all the brothers that came andthe the connection that happened between all of them is just beautiful to watch and to be apart of and I feel so blessed in my life to be able to witness such things and toto feel such things as well. So um just thank you guys. You guys are awesome.Thank you for taking the time, spending the money, bringing the energy, and andmaking it happen. And to our staff, I just can't say enough about how amazingyou are as men and friends and brothers and just really blessed to be a part ofof our community and just thank you. It's awesome.

Today’s Topic: Mental Health – Why caring for it is essential.

Um, so if you didn't make it this year,come next year cuz uh it really is amazing.So you probably won't hear much about rising sun for a little while. So just wanted to say that though.So topic for today is four things that you can do to takecare of your mental health. There's athere's this thing where we we really want to be healthy and it's we live insuch a dichotomy here in the US where our health is important. So there'sthese gyms popping up everywhere. Um and yet our lifestyle is and ourculture is so unhealthy in many ways. And the same thing happens with mental health as well. We there's a therapistoffice in almost every building. Um and yet so many people struggle with mentalpoor mental health. Um on one hand we value it. On the otherhand we struggle with it. And I think it's a it's a an indictment of oursystems and our culture. some of the ways that we live and we just automatically do things and wedon't question those things, the things that we automatically do. And yet so many people are struggling with anxiety,depression, addiction, um all kinds of things.And it seems through your life, if you don't stop and actually make health a

Key #1: Physical Health – Movement, food, sleep, and holistic care.

priority, whether it's physical health or mental health, it will start to get the best of you.And when it does, then other consequences start to happen in yourlife. So I want to I want to specify four things that are really beneficialto live a life where you have good mental health.Um so the first one is to take to to havegood mental health you need to take good care of your physical health.Physical health is maybe one of the most important things for your mental health.Makes sense. Oh I I don't know why we separate our brains from our bodies so much. It's like oh yeah my body this andmy brain that. We are one entity one and our bodiesum hold energy and our bodies how healthy our body isprovides energy and life to our brain to our mental health even to our soul.So we we think that we can just abuse our body, treat it horrible,and it'll take the brunt of it, and but somehow we can still stay healthymentally. That's not true. It's just not true. If somebody came in struggling withtheir mental health, one of the first things that I would recommend is to evaluate and assess what they're doingfor their physical health. Um, so just some things, you guys knowthese things, but I'm going to say them to to have some movement every day.Men, poor mental health happens with depression at least happens with stagnationwhen you're just not moving. You're not there. Nothing's moving forward.So if you're stagnant physically, you're going to be stagnant emotionally.So have some movement. Simple little things like walking everyday. I've noticed for me my my biggeststruggle is in the afternoon after lunch. I think a lot of people kind of have a a lull, a down. And I've startedright after lunch taking a walk. And it's been amazing to me how that walkright after I eat lunch gives me energy throughout the rest of the day. It's not the food. The food the food makes mesluggish, but the food mixed with a walk, healthy food mixed with a walk gives me energyfor the day. um walking, running, lifting weights,um any kind of movement is good for your for for your physical health. And guess what? It's good for your mental health.Um now, these things snowball on each other, the physical stuff. When youstart exercising or moving, then you have more motivation to eat well.When you put garbage into your body, that garbage goes into your brain andaffects you on a emotional level and a soul level as well.Processed, packaged foods, those are designed to give you a quick hit andnumb you out. It's addiction at its finest. And somehow we we take food andwe say, "Well, that food I that addiction isn't as bad as other addictions, sex, drugs, whatever. Forsome reason, I can keep eating the junk. Um, and the consequences come slowly.All of a sudden, your joints hurt. You can't hike with your kids.you have some pre-diabetes.Um, little things start to happen over time. Food addiction kills more peoplethan any other addiction. And if we look at it as addiction, tome, from my perspective being a therapist, addiction isn't so much aphysical thing as it is a a mechanism to numb out life, to control pain.So, if I'm using bad food to numb my life out, how am I going to be with mymental health versus eating foods that are alive,foods that that help me to feel? It's interesting that the vibrantcolored foods like fruits and vegetables and uh whole foods are the ones thatgive you life. the bland colored foods, fried foods, and things like that arethe ones that make you sluggish and and uh harm you.So, you guys, I know it's not easy. I know I'm I'm here preaching to you. I struggle with it myself.Um I I do the best that I can. I got, youknow, breakfast here, but I am not a perfect model of health when it comes toeating, especially um Tyler and I kind of joke about that sometimes. And it's interesting theculture that we live in, the family that we come from. And I'm not singling out my family because most of us Americanscome from um families that are pretty unhealthy with our our habits.Um, and it's just a fact, the fact of thematter. And I think we have to really um not the knee-jerk reaction is to justlike try to force yourself not to eat the bad food. And what that does is it it uh it pushes you into eating more badfood. So, it's it's shifting your paradigm. Um,you know, one of my favorite books is Intuitive Eating because it's about mindfulness and it's about choice. It'sabout agency. It's choosing in.Um, okay. I could go on and on about the food thing cuz I that's my biggest struggle. Um,but another thing physically, so I'm still on number one, take care of your mental health. Another thing physicallyis sleep. Tyler and I talk to all these people all the time in our offices or on thepodcast and it's we're talking about these complex emotionalrelational situations. And the fact of the matter is is a lot of those peoplewould be would greatly benefit from two extra hours of sleep every night.Like that would change their life.Turn the TV off. Go to bed. Uh, eight hours of sleep is a a realthing. People I most adults I hear it's like, "Yeah, I had a good night's sleep.I got 5 hours." What?Your sleep is foundational to your ability toum regenerate uh to show up to feel alive.Fuel yourself with good food. Move your body. Rest. Rejuvenate.Do those things and you will be happier. You will feel more fulfilled. You willunderstand your purpose here in this world better. Physical health is important. I can'tstress that enough. Um, go to the doctor if you need to getthings checked out. Take care of them. Don't let them nag. Don't let them justdrag you down as you age. take care of yourself.And um I I'm not saying get on a bunch of meds and things like that. I have my own qualms with the western medicinesystem. There's but but there's a beautiful thing happening out there where medicine and health is becomingmore holistic in the world that we're living in right now. There's all kinds of really cool things out there likelike yoga studios or cold plunge or umholistic uh naturopathic medicine. Um and thenthere's traditional medicine there. There's all kinds of ways to address your health. And um for you, feel itout. Uh use your gut. Uh follow your intuition.But prioritize it. It's important.Um, my little brother Rex, uh, he was going through some hard timesand I was watching him struggle and, um, it's pretty awesome what happened.Uh, he was gaining a lot of weight. He was out of shape. He was, uh, was kind of like slowly killinghimself. And um I don't know what clicked inside of him, but he decided I'm going tolive. And the where he he started and it's it's pretty cool where he startedwas his physical health. He lost a bunch of weight. He felt better about himself.He gained some confidence. He was more alive. Um he attracted healthierrelationships as a result. and everything from there snowballed into positives and all he did was reallyfocus on that mental or that physical health side of things and everything else started to feel better and bebetter. All right, let's move to number two.And by the way, I know when I talk about taking care of physical health, what that can do is is trigger shame whereyou start thinking about all the things that you should be doing, but you're not. And I would just suggest that you stopfor a second and you um just focus on one thing that feelsgood today. Like for me today,I know I need to cold plunge today. I just need to get up there in the m mountains. I need to justfeel that river and uh it's a physical thing. I need tocold plunge today. So, I'm going to do that. Um I'm alsoI'm going to do two things. I'm going to cold plunge and I'm going to eat a kale salad for lunch. Something that's alive.

Key #2: Surround Yourself with Good People – How relationships shape your wellbeing.

It's going to have kale, beets, nuts, uh, healthy whole foods for lunch. Thoseare the two things I'm doing. I'm focusing on that today. And the reason I'm telling you this is not to tell youthat I'm awesome or doing perfect at this, but it's not hard to do one or two good things for your physical healthtoday. Number two, for good mental health, surround yourself with peoplethat have good vibes, people that take care of themselves.So, um, what do you know when you're aroundpeople who are depressed? Guess what you're going to feel?Now, I'm not saying you can't go down and take care of people who are struggling. I'm all about that.Um, but you need to do that with boundaries. If you're around anxious people all thetime, you're going to start feel anxious. So, you can go help somebody withanxiety. Let's say your mom or your sister or your brother struggles with anxiety. I'm not saying don't be aroundthem. But what I am saying is don't just be around them.Be be around people who are actually working to be healthier.You will resonate with who you are around and the the healthy people will push youto be healthy naturally. just by being around them.So if you look at your support system, you look at your friend group, ask yourself, is that a person that I wantto to uh connect with more or less? Is that a person that I need moreboundaries around and not have as much connection or is that a person that Iwant to nurture more connection with so that we can support each other to behealthier?Everybody's struggling on some level with their mental health.So, I'm not saying go find perfect people, but the key is is to find peoplewho actually acknowledge that they need to work on it and do things to actuallywork on it. So, um, if you don't have those people,then you can create those type of relationships. Where, you might ask, go to places wherehealthy people go. And I'm not just talking about the gym. Sometimes the gym is the most unhealthy place to findpeople. But places like a retreat, I think that's a good example.A lot of guys just found other men who are working on their mental health.Um, maybe it's church, maybe it's a community event,but you can find places to meet people. Also, there's probably people already inyour life that you could start to work on a relationship with and have moreconnection with. Send a text message, make a phone call,go out and do stuff together. Fun stuff.Um, I was just in uh Phoenix with my best buddy Harry andum another uh friend Joe. And these dudes like they take care of themselves.They love to be active. And I went on this five mile hike in Sedona, Arizonawith them. And it was just awesome. It's just awesome to move, to to be withthose guys, to connect, to laugh. Um,it's just good for your mental health. So, that's that's another thing is mix these two. Take your friends who havegood vibes and go do some physical stuff together. That will help your mental health.Um Chase, who's been on the podcast before, he's been getting out and playing basketball like almost everymorning and he get just I think it's with with a lot of strangers or whoever just makes a basketball game up.connects with men in sport, in um competition,and they get some movement and some connection. That's good for your mental health.Play pickle ball every day with your friends. Um or whatever it is, golf, pickle ball,hiking, uh biking, but it doesn't have to be active. go toa cooking class, whatever it is, just connect with good people. Okay. Numberthree, which uh is really important for your mentalhealth. Um yourwell, here's what it is, and then I'll talk about it. Have a purpose. Have a battle to fight and a calling.Our mental health declines when we don't know what the heck we're doing here.And the reason it does is because we're getting signals that this isn't what I'm

Key #3: Find Your Purpose – Living with meaning and direction.

supposed to be. Uh if I have a dead-end job, I have nouh co calling, no battle to fight, I willfeel like blah. And the reason I feel that isbecause I'm being called to figure out what it is. If I feel really content about my dead-end job, that's not a goodthing. That's why you don't feel content about things like that.You will feel unfulfilled if you don't have a purpose, obviously.But that feeling of unfulfillment will wear on your mental health likenothing else. knowing that you have talents,abilities, that you have a a reason to be here, butbut sitting on the sidelines w will not be good. So, you got to askyourself, what arena is your arena to step into?Maybe there's a certain topic um or certain place or certain thingthat you know that you were called to do. Maybe it's that book that you were going to write one day or that businessyou were going to start or that speech you were going to writeor that child you were going to helpor that invention you were going to invent. The only thing between you and living inyour purpose is sitting in discomfort and fear.Sit in that discomfort and fear. Step into your purpose and you will feel alive. When you feel alive, it supportsyour mental health. It's really obvious.Um and it and just something to consider issometimes it takes some time to start to sort out and figure out what thatpurpose is. And also throughout life it might shift. It shifted for me recentlyand it shifted in really awesome ways, but it shifted and I'm still in thatprocess of like, okay, where exactly do my skills, abilities, talents,uh, where are they needed right now? So, there's a constant feeling of ofgetting in alignment with who you are and what the world needs from you. Um there's that constant feeling. Butwhen you get in that purpose, you get in a flow state and you create in in waysthat you you know you you know that that's what you were made for.So have a purpose. Number four, maybe my most favoritething to talk about and what I believe is is critical for mentalhealth and it's living a life of surrender.

Key #4: Surrender and Growth Mindset – Letting go, trusting God, and embracing life.

Um, I'll give you I'll I'm going to give you a few different ways to say the same thing here.Turn your will and your life over to the care of God. Okay, that's one way to say it. That's step three.Um, serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the thingsI can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Um, live with a growth mindset.Let go and let God. So, the the reason whyI like talking about this all the time is I believe it's a key to beinghappy and healthy mentally and and in your soul.When you shift, you can shift your paradigm from I'm supposed to get certain things in mylife and until I get those things, I won't be happy. So if you have that mentality, what will happen is everyroadblock that comes, you'll be resistant to. You'll fight against itand it'll it'll get you down versus a mentality of this life is forlearning. This life is for growth. And I want certain outcomes in my life.That'd be awesome. But I'm focused on on the living. I'm focused on the experience, the growth, the learning.I'm living today and and growing today. I might get the millions of dollars oneday or the perfect relationship. That might happen. But what I'm doing is the best I cantoday and living a life in gratitude for all the things that come today. No matter what it is, I'm surrendered tothat. I I'll I praise God for for whateverthat is. And you can see how that thiswhole principle is critical for mental health.Our suffering is caused from our resistance to what is. When we let go of our resistance, we nolonger suffer and we learn from the pain.We accept it. We feel it still, but we learn from the pain. When we learn from the pain, we become stronger and thatinforms us as to who we are and what our purpose is.I've seen so many people throughout the years in my officeand their biggest problems are one, they don't know who they are, and two, they're resistance to what life hasgiven them thus far. They don't see the reason for it.So, they're fighting against and they're cursing God for it.What do you know? That's not great for your mental health.I know I make this sound easy. Um, and it can be hard, but it is possible foranybody to to shift into that mindset and that thinking. Some people naturallyjust do it and other people really struggle. They want certain outcomes. Unless thoseoutcomes come, they're not happy.So, my four um secrets or keys to health to beinghealthy with your mental health. One, take care of your physical health. Two,surround yourself with people that have good vibes. Three, have a purpose,battle, the fight, or a calling or at least be pursuinguh figuring out what that purpose is. That alone will give you purpose.And four, practice a growth mindset and live alife of acceptance and surrender to God's will.Now take these things in like culmination. Like put all these thingstogether. Think about what your life would be like. Think about what your mental healthwould be like. It'd be pretty awesome. Who knows whatyou'd be able to to like experience and accomplish and see.So what's getting in your way? these things that I listed offreally aren't that hard. So, why don't you just go do it?And you might be sitting back saying, "You don't get it, Brandon. You don't get it. I got to pay the bills or my myrelationship is such a mess. My focus is all on that. I can't do anything else.I'm supposed to sleep for eight hours. What are you talking about? That's impossible.I have nobody in my life, no no friends, no no people with good vibes. Well,guess what? I can think of a few guys this year that I've started working with who have started to cultivate and createthose healthy relationships in their life. It is there. Like you can make all the excuses that you want and you can bea victim to the world that you're living in or you can go do these things and actuallyfeel good, feel excited about life, feel ready to take it on and and fightthe fights that are out there to to fight that are important and experience the joy and the happinessand the peace that is available for all of us if we're willing to to accept it.It's right there for us. God loves you.God put you here for a reason.Not to just spend some time in a body until you die.

Closing Thoughts – Encouragement to take action and live fully

You can decide to be miserable your whole life or you can decide to live.It's up to you. All right, you guys. Guys, I hope thiswas helpful. Um, please share it if it was. Uh, don'tforget to subscribe on YouTube. And until next time, keep on keeping on.