How Can Healthy Boundaries Help You Love Your Family More During The Holidays

Holiday question: boundaries & family

How can boundaries help you love your family more during the holidays? Well, this should be a fun one.Oh, this will be a great one, man. Yeah. Um,speaking of which, when you think of family, when you think of cousinsand and Thanksgiving, I already know where you're going, dude. Who do you think of? I I'm alreadyexcited because we have a guy who listens all the time and his favorite thing about the show is stories aboutbigs. Hey, what do you know? Hey, I go I go to Bigs.Hey, when we get when we get into gratitude for the holidays around around Thanksgiving, you know, everyone hastraditions. Most people skip Thanksgiving and just focus on Christmas because they like to spend all their money and get wound up tight.Um, it's all about Thanksgiving. But our family, my favorite holiday of the whole year is Thanksgiving. And one of thethings I'm most grateful for is is that nearly every year that we have a big family.Every year, every year that I've been there that Bigs has been there, there's been the tradition of the turkey song.Yeah. Big Bigs leads leads our family in the turkey song with with actions.Yeah, he has actions. Like he actually does his turkey. Look at that turkey. Little turkey. Go to YouTube and check

Thanksgiving traditions & the turkey song

out the turkey that bigs bigs created that the turkey.That's brilliant. That ran away. He does. He has actions for the whole song. Ran away from school one day.Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble said he a Thanksgiving turkey. I will not besorry. I I I shouldn't do it. That's his. Don't do it all. That's his. He owns it.That's his That is his tradition. He leads us in the turkey song. And you think he he'd be doing it to like thekids and stuff. No, he leads all the adults. He leads the adults in the turkey in the turkey song.Greatest family tradition we have. Thanks to Bigs. Some Some people do the nativity.Yeah. Bigs does the turkey song.It's the best, man. Only big Only Bigs can pull that off.Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Well, yeah. I'm grateful I'm gratefulfor family during the holidays, but um we're going to talk about how to act. Alot of times, Tyler, let's back up a little bit. A lot of times the holidays are just kind of a a shiz show, right?Oh, dude. They're like rife with all sorts of undercurrents, family patterns. It's like there's always this kind for alot of people they'll describe like I'm I'm excited to go be with family but I'm also scared to be with family because Iknow that it's probably going to stir up some kind of drama or I'm kind of dreading it or orit's like a mix of both because we both are tied to each other. We want those relationships and then a lot of times we kind of feel let downby it and it turns into drama. Yeah. And and uh and so how can youactually enjoy being around your family during the holidays? That's what we want to break down. And and it has everythingto do with healthy boundaries. It's all about healthy boundaries. Um it's learning how to not take things

Why holidays feel stressful with family

personal. Um having compassion for them and then having healthy boundaries. SoSo we talk about boundaries a lot. Um but let's just like break that down justa little bit, Tyler. What does it mean to have healthy boundaries during the holidays? And then maybe we can get into another story or two about ourThanksgivings. Sure. You bet, man. Uh before we jump into boundaries, I I just want to saythat I think the reason a lot of people will relate to this topic is um there'ssome some things that kind of go on I think that add to it for a lot of people. And one of them is that we youknow as adults we have now moved away from home most of us anyway hopefullyand we've kind of established our own lives and we're living our own lives. We have our own jobs. We have our own families. have our own kids, our ownhobbies, our own other relationships, for friendships, and we've kind of grown into the livesthat we're in. But then when we travel home for things like the holidays, we come home being who we are, and we stepback into a system that raised us and that maybe had different roles or expectations. And a lot of times that'sone place where there's a lot of friction that happens. I think that's a great point, Tyler. Yeah. So it's like all of a suddenyou're the you're the second child who plays a certain role and you're expected to play a certain role with your f whereat your job or with your current family. It's like you're not that. But then all of a sudden you're you're expected toYeah. because that's just what the autopilot of the family had been for so long. And it's not like it's conscious.It's not like it's malicious. But it's also something that then causes friction. It is. Yeah. Because here I am. So, like forinstance, let's say if I'm uh I'll just, you know, come up with some kind of an example, but if I am,you know, the if I'm the family hero and I need to make sure that I always makesure the family looks amazing, but then I kind of get out into my own world and I kind of let all that go, but then Icome back home for the holidays, if things are if the wheels are coming off the cart in my life, I still have toshow up as if everything's amazing and awesome, and I don't actually get to be authentic that way. Or maybe I've beenthe person who, you know, maybe I think a lot of people relate to this one. I was the child who actually became thesounding board or the caretaker for my parents growing up. And then I got out

Old family roles showing back up

of the house. I got my own family going. I've kind of let that go a little bit. But now that I'm coming home, the first thing that's going to happen is one ofmy parents is going to pull me aside and start telling me about like the problems with the other parent and have me wantto take on that role again. And I'm going to on the inside kind of cringe going, "Man, I really want to see youand I'm excited to be with you, but I don't want to be put back in this same position again because that was itdoesn't work for me anymore." Yep. I mean, we could go down the list. It's like you get me thinking about allkinds of different dynamics of things like like let's say mom is way overattached and and uh you get therewith your wife and kids and mom is like using you for connection and your wife'skind of like what the fetch is happening like we need some spa like there's weird boundaries here between you and mom youknow um uh anything like that could be be happening um May maybe maybe in yourfamily you were always the one that people laughed at and made fun of and you're respected at at your job orwhatever, but you go back to to you're the family jester. You're the family clown and it's just like let's just make fun of get get madefun of for you know the whole holiday like and you put a smile on your face even though on the inside you're hating it.Yeah. And the in-law or the your spouse is kind of like why do you take that? Why do you show up that way with yourfamily but you're showing up so different here? Um, and it's because ofthese dynamics that have been built your whole life. And so it's exciting to bearound family and fun. You want to connect, but at the same time, you're going into systems just like you said,Tyler, you're going into systems that uh have been built over a longperiod of time. Um, and if you and if what what happens if you actually challenge those systems? Sometimessometimes that actually causes more in the short term it causes more frictionand sometimes even more drama. And that's why so many people kind of refuse to actually set boundaries is becausethey can't stand the thought of having that kind of drama. And so they just kind of take this what they think is thenext best option, which is to either be resentful or burned out or to kind of like dread going to this family thingeven though they kind of really want to go because they still value the relationships. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Um, so but buthere's the thing, Brandon, like to to what you're saying and to our listeners who are listening right now. If you're listening to this and and you have acouple of things going on as you're looking at going into Thanksgiving or Christmas and the plans with your family, if you are dreading it, ifyou're resenting it, that likely isn't only about yourfamily, that actually is giving you some data about you. Yeah. Right. Right. And that's kind of what wewant to talk about. Absolutely. And well, let's let's start here, Tyler.You don't have to go. That is an option. That's an option. You don't have to go.But if I don't go, that's going to cause all sorts of drama with my family. Great. But the truth is and and thatthat the reason I say that right after what you just said is you have a lot ofchoice. You have a lot of power and control in terms of how close you get oror not to people. And so when when you're saying that's maybe about yousome you feel like you lose power and control with with some relationships where

Choice, resentment, and saying “no”

you're guilt tripped into things. It's a holiday. You're forced. You You just You don't have a choice.You have a choice. So, if you're going in to I I think of my my favorite isClark Griswald because I just I relate to him so much. You know, you are Clark.I am Clark. I am That's That's who I am. You punched your front yard Santa in the face. Oh, yeah. I mean, I am exactly him. LikeI've had a tree that size on my car before with the road rage going on getgoing up there to get it. Like but but I just think of I love it because this is such a great show because the familykeeps coming over like like the the in-laws come and then the aunt the old aunt and uncle with the jello and thecat littering it. Yeah. Burning the tree down and saying the pledge of allegiance. The they they just breakevery boundary. They just like every, you know, every they're just dysfunctional, break every boundary. AndClark's sitting there just like trying to make it happy for everyone, just trying to make it good, right? And thetruth is is he didn't have he doesn't have to invite any of them over. He doesn'tum he can have his space, right? So So this is the song and dance of I knowyou're dysfunctional. I know maybe you're a little even toxic, but can Ihave compassion for you and love you? Still enjoy the holidays with you, be asclose to you as I as I want to be, um, and we can all have a good timetogether. I I think you need to ask yourself that question. Do I have the strength toactually in a loving way be compassionate and boundaried with these people so that I can have a good time?Right. Yeah. I think Brandon like maybe that's a a starting point here when you're thinking about this for yourself, right?Is I need to do an inventory of and this could be a across a lot of differentthings. What kinds of topics am I afraid of talk about? What kinds of space proximity works for me and doesn't workfor me in terms of feeling overwhelmed or kind of smothered or um what kinds ofpatterns of interactions work and don't work for me in terms ofwhat's going to make me feel resentful or have my values stepped on or walked over. And then the first question tocome back to that is in order for me to enjoy being in the presence of thisperson or this person or this person, this is this is the kind of dynamic thatI need to have in order to not resent them. Yeah. Right. Um because because then what I'm nowsaying is I want to enjoy you. I want to be connected to you. I want to havegreat shared experience with you. And the way that we can do that is with thisthis and this sort of guideline or parameter. Yeah. Yeah. Right.That sounds so cold and regimented a little bit the wayyou just said that. And I I think you know like the way I can enjoy enjoy youis with this parameter or this thing. And I get it like relationship is isflowing. It's free flowing, right? But I think what you brought up earlier,Tyler, is if we can check in with ourselves about our resentmentsum or about where we just kind of feel taken advantage of or um where if if we're clear about ourboundaries where it's like somebody just said something to me that like that really doesn't sit right with me. Do I

Boundaries around topics, time, and space

have to just take it? Do I have to just Right. Um,also like it's it's not just things being said. It's it's expectations oflike, look, we expect you to eat pie and then stay for five more hours.Well, maybe I just want to eat pie and go. Like, so it's just time. It's justso you can have boundaries around what people say, around time frames, around activities. You know what? What if Ihate football, but my family watches 12 hours of football on on Thanksgiving? Well, then you're just wrong.That's totally on you. What if What if I'm the in-law who hatesfootball and my my partner and my whole family watch 12 hours of football in a day? Like, I either have to then comearound to saying, "Okay, I'm going to I'm going to sacrifice and be a part of that and make the best of it and enjoy it because I chose to be there." again,choice to be there or I need to be able to say, you know what, hey guys, I'm going to go do some uh I'm going to gofor a walk or go do some Black Friday shopping or I'm going to go like do some meditation or something else. You guys enjoy it. Have a good time.And even if the family goes, "Oh, so you don't even want to be a part of the family." Then you get to come back with the energy of no that's not it at all.I'm I'm happy to be part of the family. I love eating dinner with you guys. Let me know when you want to play the board games or whatever. Butor even be like, you can think that I don't want to be a part of the family. That's fine. That's okay. Like I can't stop you fromfeeling that way. Um, and what I don't want to be is a part ofa 12-hour stint of football. Right. Right. Like that's if that's the example we're using. But but the I think whatI'm getting at is the energy that we want to approach it with is I want to offer the best of myself andhelp things go as right as possible. And by owning my choices and knowing insidemyself what are those parameters then I can sometimes that's an outwardboundary that I'm setting with my family where I'm like hey guys like if if we cover these kinds of topics I'llprobably ask us to stop or shift gears and if not then we'll go do something different. Yeah. Um or sometimes it's it's not even likean outwardly spoken set of parameters. It's more of a guideline on the inside of like, oh yeah, like I'm I am or I'mnot going this way or that way with the conversation. Right. Right. And doesn't Sometimes they don'teven need to be spoken to everybody else. Right. Right. UmAll right. So check in with yourself. Notice your resentmentsfirst. Notice your resent where you'd be resentful first. Check in with yourself and acknowledge you have a choice.You have a choice first. You have a lot of power here. Where are your where are your breakdownsin terms of like like the the place where you grimace about going or the resentments you're going to have?The other thing the other big choice that you have and and I think this one isn't like people don't want to own thisone all the time, but you have a choice to take things personal or not.And so when boundaries aren't just about like I'm going to tell you what you can and can't talk about. Like let's say wego to Thanksgiving dinner and someone's rattling off about politics or something that's just like inflammatory.I can do I can say, "Hey, I'm going to leave." And that's fine. That's a boundary. That's good. Right.Or I can let them rant about politics and I can still be boundaried and belike, "Oh, that's their opinion. That's what they think. That's fine. That's okay." Yeah. It's not about me.Yeah. It's not about me. On with life. Even if I vehematly disagree. Yeah. Right. So, instead of getting intothis knockdown, drag out prove them wrong fight right now, I'm going to justrealize that they have their opinion and that's fine and that's them and I'm I have boundaries here. I don't take thaton and that's okay. On with life. Um, so you have a choice to take thingspersonal or not. I think that's a whole that's that could be its own whole section of this Brandonbecause because we as human beings our default setting is to take things personally.Yeah. And so it actually takes especially especially family. Yeah. But well because it's the it's the soup we were cooked in basically. Umand so it takes a lot of work to it takes a lot of mindfulness practice to know what those tales are insideyourself when you know you're taking it personally. You know, when you start to feel that certain stirring in your chestor for me, if my jaw starts to clench, like that's a big sign for me or my face will start to flush or it's like, oh,why am I taking this so personally? Um because because it's not really even

Not taking things personally (eggs, noses, teeth 😄)

about me, even if the topic is about me, it's not actually about me. Right. We we talkabout this in the podcast all the time. Right. Right. It's so it's so interesting. Like if you bring up me meliking to eat eggs for example. You love eggs. You love them. You would have eggsinstead of turkey for this. You know what I feel? No. I love I love my turkey. Don't I mean hey. Umno no eggs next to the turkey. That's fine. Whatever.Um I take that as love. It's like Yeah, you're joking with me about my eggs, right? If if I'm talking about your yourbig nose or whatever, it's like, hey, you know, but but but really like totake a step back and be like, "No, let's say I brought up your nose." You know, we joke about Tyler's nose because whenhe was born, apparently he came out nose first. I decided to push for like 10 hours with my nose first. So basically, my wholeface was my nose. And our dad talks about going to the hospital and they had to like look through the window and and everyone'slike, "Oh, that's a cute baby." And then they get to Tyler and they'd be like, "Oh, that's that's a that's a baby."Dad's first in my baby book, it says this. It says like it's like my dad's first words were, "Hooray, it's a boy.Look at his nose.Right. So, but but back to the point, right? like we we can choose to take these things personal and and sometimespeople are absolutely attacking and aggressive and and try try to try to getpeople to take offense. Um or you can see some of it as like justconnection love. It's you know is it the most healthy way to connect? I don't know. Right. But but it's it's it's likefun. It's you're so close with your family. You can connect on these things. Um, so and your nose doesn't look likethe day you were born. I wasn't there the day you were born, but you just have to go off stories andpictures. Now, now we just talk about your veneers. That's exact. That's exactly right.We've shifted from your nose to your teeth. Yeah, you have. Actually, actually,what's funny about that, Brandon, this is total side note, but you went from the nose and then you and Rex withoutknowing it, you gave me childhood trauma. I to this day hardly ever wear a hat because one day when I wore a hat,you guys had nothing else to go on to pick on me. So you said I had big earsand a hat a hat was showing you and the hat the hat was making the ears point out. Oh man, dude, I feel bad.But now you've moved on to the teeth. So Oh, I got to stop. I got You've pretty much gone everything except the eyes on the face. You got toget the eyes. You got to stop, man. Get the eyes after that. You'll be fine. Hey, who am I to talk? You know,I got to stop. Sorry. But to to your point though, Brandon, like that's the point. Like the the point you're trying to make is is that Icould take any of that personally and I will then do a lot of resenting, a lotof regretting, a lot of avoiding. If you know, I know you're doing it jokingly and and that's kind of thethat's kind of how we sometimes communicate with each other in brotherly banter type stuff. And so to me, I likeI don't take offense to that. So there's no real like Right. There's no real like pain in that.There's actual connection, right? We're able to laugh and joke about it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Umbut but but that requires two things, I think. I think one is that when when something like that is said, it is outof love. It's like, hey, we're joking. And and like when you talk about whatever eggs or whatever, it's like out of love. And two, on the other side ofthat is I'm not going to take offense. It's like I'm not going to and if it isif it is offensive, I can then voice that and say, "Hey, like can we lay off the eggs?" Like I I like I make goodscrambled eggs, poached, whatever. Can we just lay off of it?Hey guys, like that was funny for the first 20 times, but right now would probably the time to stop.For the first 43 years of my life, it was hilarious.We're good. It's not funny anymore. Every time you eat a devild egg, you don't have to look my way.Every every time I see a plate of devild eggs, I don't make the comment of like, "Hurry, get some before Brandon seesit." Yeah. See how he gets that in there?But but if that really was offensive to you, you could say, "Hey, I would actually have to get serious andbe like, "Hey, hey, will you knock it off, man?" Yeah. Like, we're good on the the egg thing. Like, I'm kind of done with that.Yeah. Yeah. Um, and hopefully you would you would be like, "All right, like I can respect that."I remember a time of this, Brandon, where there was like this was several several years ago, and there was some alittle bit of like family drama, and we're getting ready to go to a family event together, and we stopped at achurch building to play some games and stuff, and you and I had kind of had a little bit of a dust up.Well, yeah. And you uh you said, "Hey, Tyler, I need to talk to you." And then we we found aprivate room and we sat down and we talked out hashed out what your feelings were, what my feelings were, and we kindof came to like this understanding with one another. And then we were able to go and have three more days of a reallynice time together. Yeah. That otherwise would have been spilled with drama if it didn't just get spelledout and talked through. That was really healthy, right? That was that was actually what we like. That was very healthy.That was actually healthy. Yeah. But but I love this example likeand honestly Tyler a lot of people I remember sitting there in that that room in that church like they don't want tohave the uncomfortable conversation. They don't want to sit there and be like hey like let's get real about wherewe're at with a couple of things. And um but but you know what that's what makes

Family drama, growth, and holiday encouragement

relationship good is like we can actually stop and be like hey like this isn't okay or that's not okay. I thinkthat's that's it is especially if the energy is the parties that that are involved. Wewant it to go right. Right. Like the reason I'm bringing this up is because I want to go have a greatweekend with you. Right. Right. Like let's let's figure this out. Let's come to the reality of thesituation. Let's figure out how to navigate it together so that we can enjoy each other's company. Right. sothat I can be excited to see you or you know everyone else who's traveling home this weekend can be excited to go hangout with like their siblings and their parents and go hey this is the reality of our situations and yet I'm still hereright I'm still here because I love you and like so that's why I'm having that's whyBrandon pulled me aside and had the devil egg talk but but that's not always available likesometimes there's there's relationships like back to Clark Gri Wald if he sat his grave aunt down and said, "Hey,let's have a talk." Like, she's not available to have that talk. So then he's got to do his own work to be like,"Okay, how do I want to handle this and show up um when I can't get that validation orcommunication from that person who's who's just not available." Andsometimes that happens with people that you think should be available. I think a lot of times with parents and thingslike that, we think mom and dad should show up for us and but they don't have the skills or ability or wherewithal toactually connect in those ways. And that's where you got to take a step back and say, "Okay, like then what are myoptions here?" Yeah. And those options might be doing something different. Maybe you don't invite great aunt with the jello, youknow, the cat litter jell-o. Um, or maybe you actually tell cousin Eddie that it's time to hit the road in hisRV. Um, or you change the story that you're living by and you accept thetrade-offs of either option. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But, but at the end of the day, there's trade-offs. Right. So, as longas I'm choosing to understand that my decisions are leading to tradeoffs, I'm now accepting whatever the trade-offsare of my decisions, whether that's to stay or to go, to have the conversation or not. If I can, I canstill possibly change the way I look at it or change the story about it. Yes. Yes.Right. Like, who knows? Bigs might hate that for the last 20 years he's done theturkey song. I don't think so. But we love that he does the turkey song. No, I think he's good with it. I I hope.I pray. But if but if Biggs were to show up and resent all of us because of the turkey song, that's actually going to beon him to either change the story or not do the turkey song. I know, but no pressure. That would ruin my whole Thanksgiving.Don't even plant this idea for him not to do it.That's how families respond, Brandon, to this. I know. I'm responding. I know. I'm the one. You're responding to the same waythat families respond to that. If you if someone else comes in and disrupts the family system, the family is like, "No, no, don't even plan that." And no, thatlike we are definitely still doing that thing. Yeah. It's still on him to say like, "I don't want to do it." Even if even ifI'm like, "Hey, you're going to ruin my whole Thanksgiving forever." He'll be like, "I that's that's tough for you. I hope you figure that out."Will you stop this example? Here's a devild egg. I do not wantI do not want to get this idea. So, all right. I thinkVince loves it, though. I think he loves it. I hope so. Um,all right. Well, can let's just talk about some holiday stuff for just a second. What's your favoriteThanksgiving dish? Thanksgiving dish? Yeah.Oh, man. Uh, what's what's the worst one you've had and what's the best one you've had?Oh gosh.Well, I mean, there's like h there's like the traditionalThanksgiving stuff that you like, you know, you expect to have the turkey,the stuffing, the sweet potatoes. I think if if the green beans that are cooked properly get cooked with like theright crunchiness and everything, I love those for some reason. And I love I really love I really love the sweetpotatoes, but only if they're done just right. Interesting. Okay. So,do do you like like a lot of like candy like sugar on the sweet potatoes? I like I like a little Yeah, but I moreso the crunch. There's got to be something crunchy on the top. Okay. Um but but I know where you were going.Where am I going? I could see the look on your face. Were you like what's the weird What's the weirdest thing you've ever had?The word the worst.Why don't you answer that one first? Yeah. Well, apparently you have an answer. So, Well, I I had the answer based off ofwhat the look on your face was. You know, you know exactly what it is, but you're not going to say it.Well, where I was going to is I was I was setting up the assist to say, let's just say let's just say that some peoplebring the traditional kinds of things to Thanksgiving and other other people bring things. Like it's like SesameStreet where you know it's like one of these things is not like the other and there's like three guinea pigs and one puppy running around, you know, likesometimes there's there's a dish like that that will roll into Thanksgiving once in a while and you're like not thatit's a terrible dish all by itself. It's just that it has no place being at a Thanksgiving dinner table.Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I can say this, and this is just me, this is just just Brandon's opinion. And and I love this.I like absolutely love it. But guacamole has no no place at Thanksgiving.It just has no place. There's no place for it. I love guac. I get it. I eat I eat guac five times aweek on the last Thursday of November. Let's Let's not worry about that one. Let's leave the guac alone. We got thethe I guarantee you I guarantee you there wasn't a pilgrim whipping up an avocado. I guarantee you,as much as I love it, leave the guac at home.Yeah. So,yeah. Anyways, um what was your Well, you ask me aquestion. I It's It's your turn to ask me a question. Okay. So, I'm thinkingThis is this is derailing fast, Brandon. And hopefully we got something of value to people about boundariesbefore we get into this. Okay.What comes I don't know if you picked this one up or not, but what comes to mind thinking holiday story when youthink of the bountiful bubble?Oh man. Go. I actually loved that. That was hilarious.No, you were you were in seventh heaven. That's why I brought it up for you. I threw you an assist. I loved I absolutely. So Tyler's a yearolder than me. Rex is two years younger than me. And I would love when they would get ina fight and you were out of it and I wasn't in it. I I could just sit back and watch it and be like, "Oh yeah,this is crazy. This is just f this is nuts." Um, so the Bountiful Bubble infront of the whole family. This is like everyone gets together like kind of where we're rented out the Bountiful Bubble to play a game, swim,everything. And Tyler was like a 30-year-old man at this point. He was likeI was like a senior in high school. He was a grown man. Senior in high school, you know, youwere in college. Cuz I remember Rex yelling at you like, "Go back to college with your friends." Anyways,Rex and Tyler got they were playing pool basketball. No, it was football. Oh, was itin inside the pool? That's right. And it just started like escalating like slowly like Tyler scored or somethingand spiked the ball. And then next thing next thing I know, I look over and Tyleris like throwing the ball as hard as he can in Rex's face.And then they just start like getting closer together. They're just going to go blows. This is in front of like notThis is This is not just my parents. This is like cousins, aunts, like there's like tons of people. It likefamily reunion thing. Tyler and Rex are go are like fighting in the pool.It was like I swear the family was lined out around the outside like going JerryJerry like Jerry Springer show style dysfunction. Oh my gosh.I'm surprised you brought that one up. That's Hey, we're talking about familydrama. We're talking about family drama. We all got our stuff. We're not immune to it. We're not immune. We have our stuff.No one really won that fight. No, nobody nobody wins those things.Yeah. I didn't except for you. You won. That I won that. That was very That was Thank Thank you.Thank you for that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, but the reality isholidays and family are wonderful. And, um, I, you know, to me, it's what life'sall about, bonding with people that you love and connecting. And, um, as complicated as it is and asdysfunctional as it can get, um, there's something beautiful about it. And that's why I love ChristmasVacation because you can see him get to his breaking point and yet somethingdeep inside of him, deep, deep inside of Clark Griswald is like, "This is what it's all about.I love my family. This is what it's all." When he doesn't get that bonus and he loses his mind,he's still like, "This is what it's all about. It's okay." Yeah. So, and in his own way, Cousin Eddie showsup for him. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Big time. Cousin Eddie saved the day.Even Even though it led him to the brink so he could save the day.Yeah. Um well, I just want to wish everybody happy holidays. Um this will probablycome out after Thanksgiving, right after it. But I hope so. So, I hope everybody had a really um happy Thanksgiving, thatyou were healthy, um that you just enjoyed things and and found somegratitude in your heart um for all of the beautiful things that we have all around us.Amen, Brandon. Um family is an interesting thing and it's beautiful.Even even with its own challenges, it is it is what we have like the people around us are the people that we have asour own clinical material for growth, for love, for sharing and hopefully everybody gets a chance to do that in ameaningful and productive way over these holiday seasons. We love you guys. Tyler, can I add one thing?Yeah. If you have a really good deed egg recipe, can you send it to uswith that? Until next time, keep on keeping on.